1. 首页
  2. 挽回爱情

幼稚的人只能撑起一个幼稚的婚姻

【摘要】讲述:晚睡姐姐,最近我们闹别扭了,也许是太年轻,每次吵架总会涉及到家里。每次他都给我妈打电话,给他妈打电话,然后我们现在在冷战。吵架时候什么都说了,离婚什么的。我们有个不到一岁的孩子,现在我带着孩子在我妈家,已经十多天了,他就打了两个电话,回来也没有来看孩子。我婆婆跟我妈妈杠上了,因为我婆婆的朋友打电话说我,我妈给她朋友说了。结婚之前就是,两个人杠上了,结果低头的是我。那个时候有宝宝了。估计现在他们还是在等我主动,因为他们...

讲述:


晚睡姐姐,最近我们闹别扭了,也许是太年轻,每次吵架总会涉及到家里。每次他都给我妈打电话,给他妈打电话,然后我们现在在冷战。吵架时候什么都说了,离婚什么的。我们有个不到一岁的孩子,现在我带着孩子在我妈家,已经十多天了,他就打了两个电话,回来也没有来看孩子。我婆婆跟我妈妈杠上了,因为我婆婆的朋友打电话说我,我妈给她朋友说了。结婚之前就是,两个人杠上了,结果低头的是我。那个时候有宝宝了。估计现在他们还是在等我主动,因为他们就这么耗着,也不说什么,反正孩子在我这……其实这么说也挺心酸的,结婚之后我都不相信爱情了,我可以为了他奋不顾身,连家里都不顾,他以前那么狠,现在还是这么狠……我每天带孩子特别无聊,感觉自己有点焦虑了,反反复复的去想,想他为什么不打电话,不发短信,不找我,想离婚,想和好,想这想那。我该怎么摆脱这个状态?



你让我想起我的一位亲戚,年纪轻轻结婚了,把过日子当成过家家,一生气就回娘家,一吵架就找来双方父母来评理,要是互相说不服,父母干脆直接把各自的孩子领回家。


这是幼稚的婚姻,也是混乱的婚姻,什么丈母娘、婆婆,叔叔大爷阿姨婶子,都要来插一脚,每个人都有自己的意见,还都唯恐自己的孩子吃亏。


但结果呢,我那位亲戚在几次走到濒临离婚的境地后,终于想明白了,这种各自为战的结果是两个人的婚姻将要变成炮灰。本来小两口关上门就能解决的问题,让双方父母掺合进来,小仗也变成大仗了,小矛盾也成大矛盾了,到时候,就算是两个人有心和好,夹在父母的怒气之间,也左右为难了。


他们醒悟了,说好了再也不找亲人做帮手,自己的问题自己解决。于是过到了现在。


也有过不下去的,我还认识一对小两口就是这么离婚的。夫妻吵架闹矛盾,双方父母出面,打着打着夫妻俩不想打了,想要和好,但丈母娘不同意,觉得自己这口气还没出完呢。为了不让小两口和好,她老人家是白天挑拨,晚上监视,后来干脆睡在人家夫妻中间。男的承受不了这种飞来“艳福”,只好撤退。


你说父母不是为了孩子好吗?肯定都是啊,但奇葩到这种程度,这种好,已经变成最糟糕的干预和控制了。


结婚为什么有年龄的限制,是因为成年人才能独立支撑起一段成熟的关系,和一个现实的婚姻。从结婚那一刻开始,就已经变成了一个独立的人了,就像果子,从树上跌落,要变成种子,长成另外一颗树。


你必须独立去解决问题,父母和亲人朋友的意见可以听取,但不要让他们长驱直入到你婚姻的后花园去任意指点,这个男人好或者坏,都要用你自己最终的判断去取舍。


如果你们不够独立不够聪明不够强大,一定要依赖父母来处理你们之间的私人关系,那么很抱歉,幼稚的人只能撑起一个幼稚的婚姻。这样的婚姻也不是过不下去,只不过质量不高,不稳定,不结实,得不到真正的幸福。



Tell about:


Sleep late elder sister, recently our be difficult with sb, perhaps be too young, quarrel to always can be involved every time excellent in. Every time he calls to my Mom, call to his Mom, next we are in now cold war. Quarrel whats said time, divorce of what. We have a child that does not arrive one year old, I am taking the child to be in my Mom home now, already more than 10 days, he made two telephone calls, come back to also did not see the child. My mother-in-law went up with my mom bar, because the friend of my mother-in-law calls,say me, my Mom said to her friend. Before marrying, be, on two individual bar, what lower his head as a result is me. There is baby at that time. Reckon they still are waiting for me now active, because of them so bad news is worn, what to say, anyway the child is in me this... actually so say to also hold out feel sad, after marrying, I do not believe love, I can dash ahead without thinking my safety for him, lian Jiali is disregarded, before him so firm, now still is so firm... I look after children everyday particularly dull, him feeling has bit of worry, relapse instead answer go wanting, think why he doesn't call, do not send a short message, do not look for me, want to divorce, think become reconciled, think this thinks that. How should I cast off this condition?



You let me remember my relation, age married gently, get along regard as play house, one life returns a married woman's parents' home, quarrel to look for bilateral parents to come judge which is right, if say to refuse to obey each other, parents is flat and direct get respective child come home.


This is young marriage, also be confused marriage, what mother-in-law, mother-in-law, aunt of uncle uncle aunt, want to insert one foot, everybody has his opinion, wary still oneself child is in an unfavorable situation.


But result, I after the condition that that kin takes to be close to divorcing in a few, wanted to understand eventually, the marriage that this kind of result that is battle severally is two people will become cannon fodder. Original young couple closes the problem that the door can solve, let bilateral parents sophisticate come in, small battle also become battled greatly, small contradiction also becomes big contradiction, to moment, it is two people intentional become reconciled, place between parental anger, also in a dilemma.


They woke up to reality, come to an agreement or understanding also do not look for a family member to become assistant again, oneself him problem is solved. Arrived too then now.


Also had had no less than going to, I still am known is to young couple so of the divorce. Husband and wife quarrels be troubled by contradiction, bilateral parents lends his name, hitting playing husband and wife two do not want to hit, want become reconciled, but mother-in-law does not agree, feel oneself are enraged this had not gone out. To do not let young couple become reconciled, her a respectful form of address for an old person is by day provocative, surveillant in the evening, flat later sleep in family husband and wife among. Cannot bear maly this kind flies " colourful blessing " , be forced to pull out.


Do you say parents is not for the child? Be for certain, dan Ji flowers this is planted degree, this kind is good, had become the worst interpose and control.


Marry why to have the restriction of the age, because adult ability props up the concern that has a paragraph of maturity independently,be, with an actual marriage. From marry to begin momently then, had become an independent person, resemble fruit, decline from the tree, want to become a seed, blossom a tree.


You must solve a problem independently, the opinion of parents and family member friend can be listened to, but do not let them drive straight in to your marriage hind the garden goes giving directions arbitrarily, this man is good bad perhaps, want to use yourself's final judgement to accept or reject.


If you are insufficient independence is not quite clever and insufficient powerful, must depend on parents to treat the private concern between you, so be very sorry, young person can maintain a young marriage only. Such marriage also is not to cross no less than going to, just quality is not high, not stable, not strong, cannot get true happiness.


本文来自投稿,不代表能成情感立场,如若侵权,请联系我们:https://www.163qt.com/wanhuiaiqing/51042.html