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魏骏杰前妻为婚外情道歉,曝光出轨时最常见的三大谎言

【摘要】今年1月13日,港媒爆出TVB男神魏骏杰的太太张利华出轨,而魏骏杰还被蒙在鼓里。媒体十分残忍,带着照片上门采访魏骏杰。魏骏杰的反应堪称君子,称不方便透露过多私生活,目前自己还没有离婚的念头,只是需要静一静。但最终这段婚姻还是没能维持下去,最近媒体证实,两个人已经正式离婚。6月1日晚,魏骏杰的前妻张利华接受媒体专访,澄清一些对自己不利的报道,承认自己出轨,并就在婚姻维系期间与别人发生婚外情而致歉。如果说之前关于他们婚姻的报道有媒体添油加醋的话,那么从她自己嘴里说出来的,应该是对自己最有利的“真...

今年1月13日,港媒爆出TVB男神魏骏杰的太太张利华出轨,而魏骏杰还被蒙在鼓里。





媒体十分残忍,带着照片上门采访魏骏杰。


魏骏杰的反应堪称君子,称不方便透露过多私生活,目前自己还没有离婚的念头,只是需要静一静。





但最终这段婚姻还是没能维持下去,最近媒体证实,两个人已经正式离婚。


6月1日晚,魏骏杰的前妻张利华接受媒体专访,澄清一些对自己不利的报道,承认自己出轨,并就在婚姻维系期间与别人发生婚外情而致歉。




如果说之前关于他们婚姻的报道有媒体添油加醋的话,那么从她自己嘴里说出来的,应该是对自己最有利的“真相”了。


可看完她的声明,我没觉得澄清了哪些误会,反倒很多理由都似曾相识——这不是那些出轨的男人常说的辩词吗?


一、我出轨都是你造成的


张利华虽然承认自己不应该在还没有离婚的情况下,和别人发生关系,但她也同时强调,这不是一个人的错,魏骏杰也要负上很大一部分责任。


魏骏杰到底有哪些错误呢?


首先,性格不合。魏骏杰喜欢安静,收工之后回家看电视,照顾女儿,而张利华喜欢热闹,经常约朋友开派对。




有时朋友约他们夫妻出去玩,但魏骏杰晚上八九点就会困,很扫兴,所以慢慢就变成张利华自己出去跟朋友玩,魏骏杰在家里睡觉。




其次,两个人之间缺少沟通,几乎零交流,各忙各的。


最后,魏骏杰对女儿太好,早上4点起床给女儿做早餐,是一个完美爸爸,却没有考虑妻子的感受。


摊手,真是人变心了你做什么都是错,连一心一意对女儿好也成了伤害妻子的理由。


近年来魏骏杰事业陷入低谷,为了养家,他只能频繁参加各类商演赚钱,大大透支了自己的名声和身体,才52岁的他变得发福、臃肿。


有了女儿后,他更是心甘情愿做女儿奴,多次被拍到抱着女儿逛街、接女儿放学、带着女儿购物等等,女儿也很亲他。




张利华却花着老公辛苦赚来的钱一点都不心疼,在社交平台上晒的几乎就是买东西和旅游。她平时的生活就是到处参加派对,被拍到不少火辣镜头。




女儿她也带得很少,一直被外界质疑不管孩子,她选择为自己辩护的方式是公布母女合照,试图证明在魏骏杰不在时,她也有份帮着照顾女儿——这理由弱爆了好吗?


很多出轨的人都会拼命寻找对方的错误,用对方的错误来掩盖自己的问题,博得同情或者分散愧疚。


每段婚姻都会有内在的问题,每个人在婚姻当中也会有失误,但错误与错误的性质是不一样的,一种错误也代替不了另外一种错误,经营婚姻的错误不和喝突破原则和底线的错误混为一谈。


婚姻不幸福,是两个人的不幸福,而魏骏杰选择的是专心照顾女儿,守在家里,她选择的方式却是跑出家门,夜夜笙歌,和朋友混在一起,并且多次有出轨传闻,到底谁才是应该为婚姻失败负责的人呢?


二、我不离婚,是因为有惰性


张利华说这些年两个人都很痛苦,没有离婚的原因有两个。


一是有了小朋友,孩子成了他们之间的唯一桥梁。




二是有惰性,不愿意改变,一直拖着做表面功夫。




第一点我是相信的,都是当妈的嘛,理解这份为了孩子凑合的心情。


但第二点就很可疑了,很明显是为了堵上公众的议论,因为他们夫妻关系在外界看来并没有她说的那么糟糕。


比如2017年,魏骏杰投资的泰菜餐厅开幕,他与张利华在镜头前公开亲吻,夫妻关系十分亲密。




2018年,他们到加拿大滑雪,还牵手合影,看起来同样是一对恩爱夫妻。




现在这些举动都被张利华说成是应付外界的表面功夫,演戏给别人看,这可以掩饰她为何不离婚的真实原因——不离婚只是舍不掉魏骏杰的钱。


张利华曾对媒体表示过,“我性格不适合做家庭主妇,老公和小孩不代表人生的全部。我一个人来香港,大部分人都对我有偏见,所以我一定要争气,一直想建立自己的事业。”


这话说得倒是很争气,只是事业没见她建立出什么,这个家全靠魏骏杰撑着,拼命赚钱给她花。


婚后她第一次被拍到与单车运动员邓宏业吃饭约会的亲密照片后,魏骏杰选择了原谅老婆,不但没有指责,还将两人居住的小屋换成了豪宅,公开表示希望通过此举修补夫妻关系。




甚至包括离婚,魏骏杰也很有担当,给足她赡养费,女儿的抚养权归自己,哪怕经济有困难,为了降低生活成本,打算卖掉房子跟女儿移民到东南亚,也要对她负责到底,真的是仁至义尽。




张利华很清楚外面的男人都靠不住,今年1月份被拍到与老外的婚外情随着离婚也结束了,没有人对她有魏骏杰这么真心、这么卑微、这么忍让。


所以她并不愿意轻易离婚,哪怕她真的不喜欢他,但会喜欢他的钱,反正他也不管她,任由她在外面尽情的玩。


如果不是年初这次被拍到确凿证据,她可能依然不会选择离婚。她自己也承认,虽然与魏骏杰的夫妻关系无法修补,但也感激他在过去那些年里将自己照顾得很好。


很多出轨的人选择不离婚,不是因为还爱着,只是因为这段婚姻还有利可图。


他们一边在外面抱怨着自己的不幸福,一边却不肯解脱,继续盘剥婚姻的剩余价值。


三、婚姻不幸福,所以我要逃到婚外情那里去


张利华表示,她和魏骏杰已经六年没有正常的夫妻关系,原因是发现双方并不合适。


首先是年龄不合适,两个人相差20岁。




然后是生活习惯不合适,两个人的价值观、喜欢的东西完全不一样。




这些不合适婚前也是存在的,但那时魏骏杰是她能够找到的最好选择,她能遇到自己曾经欣赏的TVB男神,自然欣喜若狂,哪里还顾得上别的。


两个人在酒吧一见钟情,8个月后结婚。




嫁给魏骏杰的时候,张利华只有20岁,女儿出生时,她才23岁。在有些人还没有开始真正的人生之前,她已经尘埃落定,成为一个母亲。


母亲与妻子的身份约束了她,她完全无法欣赏他阅尽千帆之后的安稳和平凡,只向往着外面的花花世界。


真正的不合适不是年龄,也不是生活习惯,而是两个人的生活目标不同步,他逛累了,想刹车了,她想的是我还没玩够呢。


张利华暗示在这段婚姻中,自己寂寞难耐,“情感上没有得到关心,我作为一个女人,希望有人关心我,可能他没有意识到。”




婚后她一直有绯闻,理直气壮地和别的男人过从甚密,凭借的不过是“因为婚姻缺少爱,我只能向外找”的烂俗借口。


这是很多出轨的人为自己辩护的理由,荒诞而常见。


虽然没有人绑着他们结婚,也没有人绑着他们不让离,他们却不肯正确面对问题,偏要以出轨作为解决这些问题的手段,害人害己。


逃避从来解决不了真正的婚姻问题,以及真正的幸福问题。逃来逃去,都是在逃离解决问题的关键所在,这种逃离,是绝望的、惊恐的、鬼祟的、不负责任的,都只能让生活变得更加复杂。


以上这三条是婚外情当中最常见的理由和谎言,出轨是人性的bug,为了让自己的良心好过一点,很多人必须将自己的行为合理化,为自己找寻到心理解脱。




但这种事真的不需要解释,解释越多漏洞越多,不如蹲下抱住头任打任捶,反而更容易被人同情。


男女都是如此。


因为纵有千百条理由,也是违背了诺言,辜负了感情,伤害了爱人。


感情的世界中因果循环,背叛了别人的,也会被别人所欺骗,伤害了别人的,也会在另外一些人身上受伤。


大概魏骏杰现在比任何人都更明白这个道理,他公开说,今日的一切都是他辜负了前女友滕丽名的报应。


比忏悔更重要的,就是这点吧



This year on January 13, harbor intermediary explodes a fine horse of the Kingdom of Wei of TVB male god outstanding madam Zhang Lihua is off the rails, and Wei Jun outstanding still by be kept inside a drum-be kept in the dark.





Media is very cruel, taking a photograph to come to interview Wei Jun outstanding.


Wei Jun outstanding reaction can weighs gentleman, say inconvenience reveals overmuch private life, at present oneself still do not have the thought of the divorce, just need Jing Yijing.





But final this paragraph of marriage still fails to maintain go down, media confirms recently, two people divorce already formally.


Late on June 1, wei Jun outstanding ex-wife Zhang Lihua accepts media special report, clarify a few pairs of oneself unfavorable coverages, admit oneself are off the rails, produce extramarital affair with others during marital hold together and excuse.




If say before if about them marital report has media add inflammatory details to, so speak out from herself mouth, should be the most advantageous to oneself " the truth " .


Can read her statement, I did not feel to make it clear that what is misunderstood, are a lot of reason like instead to ever was acquainted -- is this the argue word that those off the rails men often say?


One, I am off the rails you are caused


Although Zhang Lihua admits he should not be below the circumstance that has not divorced, concern with others happening, but she also emphasizes at the same time, this is not one the individual's fault, wei Jun outstanding also should lose on very big one share responsibility.


Wei Jun outstanding what mistake to have after all?


Above all, disposition shoulds not. Wei Jun outstanding like quiet, come home after knock off watch TV, take care of a daughter, and Zhang Lihua likes lively, often make an appointment with a friend to open a clique to be opposite.




Sometimes the friend makes an appointment with their husband and wife to go out to play, dan Weijun outstanding can strand at 89 o'clock in the evening, very feel disappointed, become him Zhang Lihua to go out to play with the friend slowly so, wei Jun outstanding sleep in the home.




Next, lack between two people communicate, almost 0 communication, each are busy each.


Finally, wei Jun outstanding too good to the daughter, got up to cook breakfast to the daughter at 4 o'clock in the morning, it is a perfect father, did not consider the feeling of the wife however.


Booth hand, it is the person ceased to be faithful really what you do is wrong, good to the daughter even undivided attention the excuse that also became harm wife.


In recent years outstanding career is immersed in Wei Jun trough, to raise the home, he can attend of all kinds business often to act only make money, overdrew greatly oneself fame and body, just he 52 years old becomes grow stout, overstaffed.


After having a daughter, he is be most willing to becomes daughter slave more, be patted for many times holding a daughter in the arms to shop, receive a daughter to classes are over, taking a daughter to shop etc, the daughter is very close also he.




Zhang Lihua is spending husband hardship to earn the money that come to did not feel distressed however, shop namely almost in what bask in on gregarious platform and travel. She at ordinary times live even if attend a clique to be opposite everywhere, be patted many hot shot.




She also takes the daughter rarely, without giving thought to,be oppugned by the outside all the time the child, the way that she chooses to defend for oneself is to announce mother and daughter to close according to, try to prove to be in Wei Jun outstanding when be absent, does she also have a portion to be being helped take care of a daughter -- did this reason explode infirmly?


A lot of off the rails people can search the mistake of the other side desperately, the error that uses opposite party will cover his issue, earn sympathize with regret of dispersive perhaps ashamed.


Every paragraphs of marriage can have underlying problem, everybody also can have fault between marriage, but mistake and wrong character are different, a kind of mistake also cannot replace additionally one kind of mistake, the wrong disaccord of management marriage drinks the wrong confuse sth with sth else that breaks through principle and bottom line.


Marriage is not happy, it is the unfortunate blessing of two people, and Wei Jun of outstanding choice is absorption take care of a daughter, defend in the home, the way that she chooses is to run however a door, nocturnal night playing and singing, with friend lump, and have off the rails talk for many times, after all who is just the person that should be in charge of for marital failure?


2, I do not divorce, because have laziness,be


Zhang Lihua says these year two people are very painful, the reason that did not divorce has two.


Was to have a child, the child became the exclusive bridge between them.




2 it is to have laziness, do not be willing to change, procrastinating to make exterior time all the time.




The a bitth I believe, it is become Mom, understand this mood that makes do with for the child.


But very doubtful at 2 o'clock, it is to block up apparently go up public comment, what because their husband and wife concerns,outer bound looks and say without her is so bad.


For instance 2017, wei Jun the peaceful food dining room of outstanding investment kicks off, he and Zhang Lihua make public a kiss before camera lens, relationship of husband and wife is very close.




2018, they go to Canada ski, still pull hand group photo, it is husband and wife of a pair of conjugal love likewise it seems that.




These act are said by Zhang Lihua now is the exterior time that handles the outside, act in a play to look to others, the real reason that this can conceal her why to to divorce -- do not divorce to just be abandoned do not drop Wei Jun outstanding money.


Zhang Lihua ever had expressed to media, "My disposition does not suit to do housewife, what husband and child do not represent life is all. My person comes Hong Kong, major person has bias to me, so I must try to make a good showing, want to build oneself career all the time. Want to build oneself career all the time..


This word says is very try to make a good showing, it is the career did not see what she builds only, this home relies on Wei Jun completely outstanding maintaining, make money to be spent to her desperately.


She is patted for the first time after marriage with bicycle athlete Deng Hong course of study has a meal after the close photograph of appointment, wei Jun outstanding chose to pardon wife, not only did not censure, the hut that still lives two people changed a person of extraordinary powers curtilage, express publicly to hope to repair relation of husband and wife through this action.




Include to divorce even, wei Jun outstanding also have very much take on, give sufficient her solatium, of the daughter bring up authority to put in his 's charge, even if economy has difficulty, to reduce life cost, the plan sells a house to follow a daughter to emigrate to southeast Asia, also want to be in charge of after all to her, it is do what by humanity and duty really.




Zhang Lihua is very clear the man outside is slippery, was patted January this year also ended as the divorce with the foreigner's extramarital affair, have Wei Jun to her without the person outstanding so so open-armed, low-down, so self-surrender.


So she is not willing to divorce easily, even if she does not like him really, but the fund that can like him, anyway he also without giving thought to she, by her outside to the top of one's bent play.


If not be the beginning of the year,be patted this authentic evidence, she still won't choose possibly to divorce. Herself also admits, although with Wei Jun outstanding spouse concern cannot be repaired, but also appreciate him to be in took care of oneself very well in those years in the past.


A lot of off the rails people choose not to divorce, because still loving,not be, because this paragraph of marriage is profitable still,be only.


They are blaming their unfortunate blessing outside at the same time, do not agree to free oneself however at the same time, continue the surplus value of exploit marriage.


3, marriage is not happy, so I should escape there extramarital affair


Zhang Lihua expresses, she and fine horse of the Kingdom of Wei outstanding had concerned 6 years without normal husband and wife, the reason is to discover both sides is improper.


It is the age above all improper, two people differ 20 years old.




It is habits and customs next improper, the viewpoint of value of two people, liked thing is completely different.




Existence also is before these improper marriage, but in those days Wei Jun outstanding it is the best alternative that she can discover, she can encounter the TVB male spirit that she once admired, be mad with joy naturally, where to still consider on other.


Two people fall in love at first sight in bar, 8 lunar hind marry.




Marry Wei Jun outstanding when, zhang Lihua has 20 years old only, when the daughter is born, she ability is 23 years old. Before some people had not begun real life, she has ended, become a mother.


The identity of mother and wife restrained her, the smooth and steady peace after she cannot admire him completely to read 1000 sail altogethers, the only yearning the dazzling human world with its myriad temptations outside.


True improper not be the age, also not be habits and customs, however the life aim of two people is not synchronous, he rambles tired, consider stop a car, what she thinks is I had not played enough.


Zhang Lihua suggestion is in this paragraph of marriage, oneself are doleful and intolerable, "Did not get caring on affection, I serve as a woman, hope somebody cares me, he did not realize the likelihood. He did not realize the likelihood..




She has red to hear all the time after marriage, ground of one is assured and bold with justice and other man associate are very close, those who depend on is nevertheless " lack love because of marriage, I can search outwards only " sodden common excuse.


This is the reason that a lot of off the rails people defend for oneself, fantastic and common.


Although do not have a person to binding them to marry, also binding them not to let leave without the person, they do not agree to face a problem correctly however, slant should with off the rails as the method that solves these problems, bite off own head.


Escaped not to solve real marital problem, and real happy problem. Escape to escape, it is to be at large to be in from the key that solves a problem, this kind escapes, be despair, terrified, sneaky, irresponsible, can let the life become more complex only.


Above is the commonnest ground among extramarital affair and crammer these 3, off the rails the Bug that is human nature, the conscience feel well to let oneself a bit, a lot of people must the behavior rationalize oneself, search psychology to free oneself for oneself.




But this kind of thing does not need to explain really, explain more flaw is more, be inferior to crouching to hold a head in arms to allow to hit allow to beat, be sympathized with more easily instead.


The men and women is such.


Because even if have 100 thousand reason, also was to violate a promise, disappoint feeling, harmed a sweetheart.


The cause and effect in emotive world circulates, those who betrayed others, also can be cheated by others place, harmed others, also can get hurt on additionally a few person.


Probably Wei Jun outstanding understand this reason more than anybody now, he says publicly, everything now is his disappoint before the Nemesis of cummer Teng beautiful name.


More important than repenting, be this is nodded


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