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2019年,谈一场不分手的恋爱吧

【摘要】我记得以前看《前任攻略》里张涵予说了一句话:“我们这代人东西坏了是要修的,而你们这代人东西坏了是要换的”。爱情在刚刚发生的时候肯定是有激情的,亲密关系固定后,激情慢慢变成柔情,但你不能说柔情就不是爱情。老实说,有时候我真的很羡慕父母的爱情,他们结婚时没有鲜花钻戒,爸爸就只有一套换洗的衣服,后来穿的还是妈妈结婚前拉着他帮他买的。他们这辈子没有说过要离开对方的话,吵架了也会在事后想着怎么去解决,去改正,牵了手,结了婚,是一定要过一辈子的。可现在我们,都没有学会,一旦出了问题,第一反应就是逃避,我们喜欢把所有的困难归为不合适,大多都是不合适背后下的不成熟。没有人愿意为不合适去负责任,也许是现在恋爱变得随意了,大家...


我记得以前看《前任攻略》里张涵予说了一句话:“我们这代人东西坏了是要修的,而你们这代人东西坏了是要换的”。


爱情在刚刚发生的时候肯定是有激情的,亲密关系固定后,激情慢慢变成柔情,但你不能说柔情就不是爱情。


老实说,有时候我真的很羡慕父母的爱情,他们结婚时没有鲜花钻戒,爸爸就只有一套换洗的衣服,后来穿的还是妈妈结婚前拉着他帮他买的。他们这辈子没有说过要离开对方的话,吵架了也会在事后想着怎么去解决,去改正,牵了手,结了婚,是一定要过一辈子的。


可现在我们,都没有学会,一旦出了问题,第一反应就是逃避,我们喜欢把所有的困难归为不合适,大多都是不合适背后下的不成熟。


没有人愿意为不合适去负责任,也许是现在恋爱变得随意了,大家都有了“不合适就分手”的念头,而不是想着怎么去解决问题,人人都畏难。性格不合,换;门户不对,换;生活困顿,换;可大多数人换到最后,都幸福了吗?很多人都没有。


以为离开这个人,下一个人就一定是对的人,就像人们说的,下一个就是最好的,可捡贝壳的人,你们不知道吗,一直以为前面是最好的,走到最后才发现,原来他错过了一个多么珍贵的机会,可大多数人都不懂。


前几天刷微博,看到一个视频,说《前任4》要在情人节上映了,去年陪你看《前任3》的人,今年还在你身边吗?


看到这句话,难免有些戳心,不过没多久导演就在微博上辟谣了,不过,你们有想陪你们去看《前任4》的人吗?


想起看《前任3》的时候,我一直都不敢去电影院看,后来终于一个人窝在被窝里看完了存在手机里的枪版,哭成狗。


看完后才发现《前任3》讲的就是我的故事,你的故事,每一个有故事的人的故事。


读书时,老师常跟我们说,“不可以早恋,你们还不知道爱是什么。” 当时大家可能真的不知道爱是什么,而出来社会工作以后才发现那时候的就是真爱!


在豆瓣上关于《前任3》,我看过一个类似段子的评论:上个星期,和女朋友去看前任3。电影结束了,她说:“我们分手吧 我想他了。”泪从眼里流出来,我就想问一句,前任4什么时候上映 我希望她能回来。


虽然说的话看似云淡风轻,但爱过的人定会知道,那是多么真心。


那些曾经分手的前任,或许多年后再见,各自安静生活数年,在某个人潮拥挤的街头透过公交的玻璃窗看见ta,想让司机马上停车,想用力拍打窗户引起ta的注意,想从车上跳下想奔跑,想大喊大叫把整个阻隔在你们之间的世界撕裂,在激烈的想象中把自己感动,而事实却越走越远。


有人说,“明明每一段感情,我都投入了我全部的情感,是奔着结婚,全心全意地去爱他的,可问什么都结不了婚呢?是我不够好吗?”


可是,我们都知道,大多都是没有勇气去面对未来的困难,又或者是根本不爱。


世上人千千万,大多擦肩而过,或是泛泛之交,愿意在意你的情绪的人不多,能够让你发自内心喜悦,陪你共患难的人更是少之又少。


当坏脾气的姑娘找到一个好脾气的先生,两个人都愿意为了彼此成为更好的人,就是一件值得骄傲的事。


那个也许看起来有些木讷、不懂风情的人,却能够在不经意间就把你逗笑,明明情商没有那么高,却可以偶尔蹦出几句情话感动你的人,一定特别爱你。


有太多人最开始遇见红着脸,最后分别红了眼,最好的爱人,是那个让你多年后还能笑着说“我愿意”的人。


世上没有完全合适的人,只有在坚守原则下,相互迁就的两个人。毕竟两个人一起生活,把生活经营得更好,远远比受不了彼此的差异就选择分开,而更有意义得多。在相互揭开对方真实的一面时,边学着包容和相互理解,我想,这才是所谓最适合的恋爱吧。


很多人分手都有很多理由,有人觉得性格不合,有人说他不适合,有人说家里条件不好,这很现实,也是借口。


在知乎上关于适合,有一个高赞回答,我很喜欢:


遇见一个相貌,性格,兴趣爱好完全相搭的人,不是说不可能,但非常难。我所理解的合适的人,不是你们刚遇见的时候,就很符合所有的要求,而是因为对方刚好有一种吸引到你的特质。因为这种特质,你们才开始接触,互相了解、不断的磨合,共同经历一段时光之后,彼此才逐渐成为了对方最合适的人。


我羡慕那些从未轻易分手的恋爱,最好的感情就如《知否知否,应是绿肥红瘦》说的那般:“吾倾慕汝已久,愿聘汝为妇,托付中馈,衍嗣绵延,终老一生。”


以后,我愿每一夜都能干干净净,心安理得,筋疲力尽地入睡,每一天也能清清爽爽,心平气和,精神充沛地醒来,这就是最好的生活。


如果你正准备开始一场感情,或是你刚刚和喜欢的人携手走进2019,我都希望你们能互相包容,多些理解,分手这个词,尽量别提。


有困难了,大家一起克服,有负担了,大家一起承担,因为相比困难,错过一个你深爱的人,那样的遗憾会伴随着你的一生。


遇见了问题,我们一起去解决,是比分手更酷的方法,你说对吗?


-END-




I remember looking before " predecessor strategy " in Zhang Han granted to say a word: "We this acting person thing became bad should repair, and you this acting person thing became bad be should change " .


When just happening, love is having intense emotion for certain, after affinity is secured, passion becomes tender feelings slowly, but you cannot say tender feelings is not love.


Plainspoken, the my occasionally true love that envies parents, drop is plunged without the flower when they marry, father changes washed clothes one set only, what wear later still is pulling him to help him buy before mom marriage. Their this all one's life had not said to want to leave the word of the other side, quarrelled to also can want how to be solved in after the event, go correcting, pulled a hand, married, must pass all one's life.


But now we, do not have a society, once gave an issue, the first reaction escapes namely, we like to put in all difficulty 's charge for improper, it is improper backside mostly those who fall is immature.


Be willing to be without the person improper go bearing the blame, perhaps be now love becomes optional, everybody had " improper part company " thought, is not to wanting how to solve a problem, everybody be afraid of difficulty. Disposition shoulds not, change; The door is wrong, change; Life tired out, change; But most person is changed finally, happy? A lot of people are done not have.


Think leave this individual, next person is right person certainly, say like people, the next is best, can gather the person of conch, don't you know, think all the time in front it is best, walk along final ability discovery, so he missed a how rare opportunity, but most person does not understand.


Brush small gain a few days ago, see a video, say " predecessor 4 " want to be shown in the Valentine's Day, accompanied you to look last year " predecessor 3 " person, be still this year beside you?


See this word, hard to avoid has some of stamp heart, direct before long nevertheless refuted a rumor on small gain, nevertheless, do you have want to accompany you to look " predecessor 4 " person?


Remember look " predecessor 3 " when, I dare not go all the time the cinema looks, later eventually nest of a person is in by the gun edition in existence mobile phone read in the nest, cry dog.


The ability after looking discovers " predecessor 3 " the story that those who tell is me, your story, each have the story of the person of the story.


When reading, the teacher often says with us, "Can not love early, you still do not know what love is. " everybody may not know what love is really at that time, and come out what that moment just discovers after work is true love!


Go up in fabaceous valve about " predecessor 3 " , I had read the review of a similar Duan Zi: Last weeks, go seeing predecessor with the girlfriend 3. The movies ended, she says: "We part company I think him. " the tear flows from the eye, I want to ask, predecessor 4 when to show me to hope she can come back.


Although say if look be like Yun Danfeng light, but has loved person can know surely, that is how open-armed.


Those predecessor that once parted company, or a lot of good-bye after year, respective and quiet life is counted year, ta sees through public transportation glazing in street of congested of a certain stream, want to let a driver jockey immediately, want to flap the window causes the attention of Ta forcibly, want to jump down from the car want to run, think shout whole cut off the world between you is torn off, touch oneself in intense imagination, and the fact goes further more however.


Someone says, "Obviously each paragraphs of feeling, I threw my overall feeling, it is to running quickly to marry, go loving him whole-heartedly, can you ask what did not marry? Be me insufficient? Be me insufficient??


But, we know, it is the difficulty that goes facing future without courage mostly, perhaps love far from again.


The person on the world one billion four hundred and ten million and sixty-five thousand four hundred and eight, brush a shoulder mostly and pass, or be general hand in, the person of the mood that is willing to care about you is not much, can let you send from inner joyance, the person that accompanies you to share hardship is more little little.


Find gentleman of a good-tempered when bilious girl, two people are willing to become nicer person for each other, it is a job that deserves pride.


That perhaps has the some of Mu Ne, person that does not know amorous feelings it seems that, can be in however casual your amusing, obviously business does not have affection so tall, OK however now and then skip the person that gives a few lovers' prattle to touch you, love you particularly certainly.


Have too much person most begin to encounter red face, part finally red eye, best sweetheart, be after that makes you old, still can laugh to say " I am willing " person.


There is completely right person on the world, standing fast only below the principle, two people that indulge each other. After all two people live together, run the life weller, far than be overcome each other difference chooses departure, and more significant much. When revealing the one side with real opposite party each other, the edge is learning to include and understand each other, I think, this ability is alleged the love that suits most.


A lot of people part company have a lot of reason, somebody feels disposition shoulds not, someone says he does not suit, someone says the condition in the home is bad, this is very actual, also be excuse.


In know on about suiting, have answer of a high praise, I like very much:


Encounter an appearance, disposition, interest likes the person that takes completely, not be to say impossible, but very difficult. The right person that I understand, either when you just were encountered, very accord with all requirements, what because the other side just has a kind,attract you however is idiosyncratic. Because this kind is idiosyncratic, you just begin to contact, mutual understanding, ceaseless adjust, after experiencing a paragraph of days jointly, each other just became the person with the rightest the other side gradually.


I envy those love that never part company easily, best feeling is like " know to deny know to deny, should be green manure red thin " say that kind: "My adore you are long already, wish to hire you to be Fu, the make a present of in entrust, develop heir is continuous, eventually old lifetime. Eventually old lifetime..


After, I wish each night is able and clean clean, feel at ease and justified, fall asleep dog-tiredly, each days also can relaxed, calm, awake high-spiritedly, this is best life.


If you are preparing to begin a feeling, or it is you just are walked into hand in hand with favorite person 2019, I hope you can include each other, many a little bit understand, part company this word, do not carry as far as possible.


Have difficulty, everybody is overcome together, have a responsibility, everybody is assumed together, because compare difficulty, miss the person that you love greatly, in that way regretful meeting is accompanying your lifetime.


Encountered a problem, we are solved together, it is score hand more the method of cruel, do you say to be opposite?


- END-


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