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爱情的两种模样,你的是哪一种?

【摘要】如同白天与黑夜,被众人所歌颂的唯美爱情也有着它的另一面。当我们沐浴在爱情中的信任、关心体贴、理解、欢乐、愉悦之时,在爱情的另外一面,疑神疑鬼、视而不见、曲解、忧愁、争执时时均在暗中窥探,一旦有机可乘,便攻城略地,遮挡住爱情的阳光,抽空爱情的氧气,让纯洁无暇的爱情被披上黑暗的纱衣。爱情在不同人的面前展现着不同的模样,你期望自己的爱情是怎样的呢?体贴关心VS熟视无睹关心体贴,是许多人经常放在嘴上的一句话,要对家人关心体贴,要对儿女关心体贴,要对爱人关...

如同白天与黑夜,被众人所歌颂的唯美爱情也有着它的另一面。

当我们沐浴在爱情中的信任、关心体贴、理解、欢乐、愉悦之时,在爱情的另外一面,疑神疑鬼、视而不见、曲解、忧愁、争执时时均在暗中窥探,一旦有机可乘,便攻城略地,遮挡住爱情的阳光,抽空爱情的氧气,让纯洁无暇的爱情被披上黑暗的纱衣。

爱情在不同人的面前展现着不同的模样,你期望自己的爱情是怎样的呢?



体贴关心VS熟视无睹

关心体贴,是许多人经常放在嘴上的一句话,要对家人关心体贴,要对儿女关心体贴,要对爱人关心体贴。在去这样做的过程中,我们会发现,这四个字中包含的到底是什么。

人总是惯性的将自己放在世界的中心,将自己的需求摆在第一位,我们的关心体贴90%对自己展现的,剩下的10%才勉勉强强分给他人。

但是在爱情的世界中,中心是两个人,当一方专注自己而忽略另一方的感受,另一方的心理,那么很快,这一段感情就会在不断的疏远中崩塌。


忍让VS吵闹

只要是谈过恋爱的人,相信都会知道忍让对于一段关系来说意味着什么。

我有一朋友和男朋友逛街,突然想吃草莓味的甜筒,就让男朋友去买,结果男朋友买回来的甜筒是奶油味的。有强迫症的她非常难受,一路上就不停的数落男朋友,连一点点事情都办不好。起初,男朋友是沉默着的,后来就忍不住了,两人当街大吵了起来,一发不可收拾,几天之后就分手了。

我们从小学起,就被不停的灌输关于“忍”的思想,什么“忍一时风平浪静,退一步海阔天空”、“忍字头上一把刀,忍得住来逞英豪”等等。

当时年少,只是觉得好笑,大了,谈恋爱了,有男朋友了,才知道,人和人之间难免会有矛盾,即使灵魂伴侣也会时不时想要掐死对方,一哭二闹三上吊除了让事情进一步恶化之外,没有任何好处。

谈恋爱的人才懂,什么叫做“忍一时风平浪静”。


理解VS曲解

任何将两性相处的书籍,都会提到要理解对方,但是实际上,这并不是一件容易的事情,针没有扎在自己身上,永远是难以体会其中的痛苦。

按照我的经验,完全理解另外一个人,是基本上不可能的,你看中国几千年历史,才出了一双伯牙子期。但是我们可以尽力去做,当对方做出让我们不解之事,说出让我们不解之话时,应该做的是询问、尝试理解,而不是自己脑补,曲解对方的意思,让感情收到创伤。


美好的爱情总是需要更多的经营,更多的克制,更多的信任,更多的忍让,当我们总是羡慕别人爱情美满,家庭幸福的时候,更应该问问自己,在爱情成长过程中,我们施的是什么样的肥,浇的是什么样的水。







As by day with the night, be eulogized by everybody place only another when beautiful love also is having it.

When us bath is when the accredit in love, care is considerate, understanding, happy, cheerful, in love additional at the same time, extremely suspicious, turn a blind eye to, misinterpret, depressed, conflict constantly all darkling pry, once take advantage, take cities and seize territory, block holds off the sunshine of love, manage to find time the oxygen of love, the love that yields chasteness to be too busy is draped dark gauze clothing.

Love is in what do not colleague before showing different about, do you expect is oneself love what kind of?



Considerate care VS pays no attention

The care is considerate, it is a word that a lot of people often put on the mouth, want to show consideration for family care, want to show consideration for children care, want to show consideration for sweetheart care. In the process that goes to such doing, we can discover, what is what include in these 4 words after all.

The person always is the inertial center that puts his alive group, place oneself demand in the first, our care shows consideration for 90% pairs oneself show, the another person of deal out of 10% ability reluctance that leave.

But in the world in love, the center is two people, when one party dedicated oneself and of oversight other one party experience, another psychology, so very fast, this paragraph of feeling can be in ceaseless alienation collapse.


Self-surrender VS is clamorous

If talk,pass amative person only, believe to be able to know what self-surrender means to a paragraph of relation.

I have one friend and boy friend to shop, what want suddenly to have strawberry taste is sweet canister, let a boy friend buy, what result boy friend buys is sweet the canister is butyric flavor. Have her what force disease very afflictive, the rebuke boy friend that keeps all the way, do even little business bad. At first, the boy friend is, couldn't help later, two people made a noise to rise greatly in the street, send irremediable, parted company after a few days.

We rise from elementary school, engraft with respect to what be kept about " bear " thought, what " bear temporarily calm, remove one condition unrestrained and far -ranging " , " a knife, bear so that live come show off heroes " etc.

Junior at that time, just feel comical, big, tan Lian loved, have a boy friend, just know, hard to avoid can have contradiction between person and person, although incorporeal spouse also can want to take the other side by the throat from time to time, cry 2 be troubled by 3 hang oneself besides make a thing farther besides aggravation, without any advantage.

The talent that talks about love understands, what is called " bear temporarily calm " .


Understanding VS is misinterpret

Any books that get along the couple, can mention should understand the other side, but actually, this is not an easy thing, the needle was not plunged into go up in him body, it is to experience among them anguish hard forever.

According to my experience, understand another person completely, it is basically impossible, you read thousands of years of history of Chinese, just gave a pair uncle serrate edge period. But we can endeavor to do, make the issue that lets us indissoluble when the other side, when speaking the word that allows us to indissoluble, what should do is understanding of inquiry, attempt, is not him the head fills, the meaning of misinterpret the other side, let feeling receive scar.


Good love always needs more management, more restraining, more accredit, more self-surrender, always envy people love when us perfect, when the family is happy, should ask oneself more, in love growing process, what we apply is what kind of fertilizer, those who irrigate is what kind of water.






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